June 4th 2015

Hello people! I'm back again. As usual, things aren't getting any good in any ways. I keep breaking down.Things don't always go as I expect them to.

My home, consisting of my father, my brother, my grandmother, and me. My father is half-retired. My brother quit school. My grandmother, well, stays at home and does some housework. Me, highschool student.

My father is at home sometimes, and sometime out with my brother. I don't tag along that often because I have school and tuition. Which means my brother gets to have lots of fun with my father because he's very free, and so is my father.

I never got along with my father that well, because my brother is usually my father's choice. They have lots of interest in common. Unlike me, almost the exact opposite. Most of the time when we get to go out, my father still have most of his conversation with my brother, because I was never the one.

My brother got to go travel with my father several times. Cruising on their bikes. Even from here, Selangor, to Thailand. Twice! My brother gets to enjoy the retired man's life. Only 17 this year, not needing to worry about studies, whereas having good life.

Unlike the unlucky me. Well, as a 16 year old, studying is a must I understand. But the fact that even on holidays, I don't get to go to malls with my father or brother is pretty unfair. The time when I have no studies nor tuition. Still. My father do sometimes asks me to accompany him to watch TV, or go some places. He asked me to go travel next week. BUT, how about me? I never got to go places that I wanted. Can you at least accompany me? My turn to make the decision for some time?

Well, you might think, why don't I tell him? Buid up my courage and tell him! Well I did. Several times. Seems that he doesn't bother about it. My father also dissapoints me time-to-time. He once said it's okay for us to go to the mall, but then never. Yesterday my brother was said to be busy, and my father said he would bring to where I wanted to. I was so happy, that finally I get to go to the mall. Turned out that he didn't want to by the time I asked him to. I was just disappointed.

Some time ago, I asked if I could just go to thr city and enjoyed the holiday instead of travelling to other countries or whatever, because it's more expensive outside, and the city isn't that bad anyways. He agreed. I was sneaky, and asked if we could live in a good hotel. He also agreed. Time-to-time, I reminded him, but it got worse and worse. From that, it turned to just me and my brother living, then turned to just me and my friend, then to cheap inns, then to me alone myself, then to the one that I mentioned, never getting the choice of going to anywhere that I actually wanted, near, and less costly.

I haven't finished yet, but I will stop here during the meantime, and I will be back.

More blog awaits! Stay tuned!

May 26th 2015

Well, it's been a few months since my last post. I apologize for that because there'd been ups and downs in my life, as it happens to everyone. My life had changes lately. Some of them are confidential, and some are ones that I would share it out.

Well, Milly Goh had a transfer to another school roughly 1 and a half months ago. It hit me hard, as she was one of my best friends. I sometimes refer her to as my sister. I really miss her presence to be honest, until today still. But, things have to change, and sometimes it's for the better. I do still keep in touch with her on social media, but not that often. We're still friends though, but I really miss her very much. Not being able to see her in class is just...sad.

To that, a new girl actually came in to school during January. I apologize that I never mentioned about her before, as I wasn't quite close to her in any ways, because she's more secretive, and is hard to get things out of her. She was one of the nicest person I've met. WAS. She's 15, one year younger than me. Well, it's not that she's bad now, it's just that we were quite close for the first few months, and then we kind of went down gradually. Probably because she didn't have much friends, and I was kind of the only ones.

Nowadays, she, well, obviously talk to other people, but it seems that she doesn't want to continue this friendship any longer. I'm not sure why though. Nowadays, when I talk to her, it seems that she tries to ignore me somehow, for as I feel that she heard me, but purposely ignores me for some reason. Also, that when I smile at her or anything, she looks away, or pretends she does't see. I feel very sad because of this.

Yesterday, I made her an origami rose out of a tissue paper. I gave it her as a friend or a sister. (Yes, I do refer to as my sister too.) But then she rejected it. My heart sank for a moment, or you can say started going downwards. On and on she rejects my smile or any of my conversations. I'm not sure why, and will ask her dare not I. Well, she has a bunch of other friends now, and it seems that she's much happier with them than me, or should I say better off without me. To she that she's happy, I'm, well, okay with it, so...fine. Of course I still hope we had that kind of close friendship few months ago.

Moving on to Carmen. Well, to be honest, there's nothing much to say about, as it goes to same to other people. Well, I don't know how to say, but it seems that not only her, but nobody in class quite seems to talk to me any longer. I really cannot understand why. Everyone in class has their 'buddy', except for me. Well, I do have 'best-friends', but it seems like it's just a term, because, well, as I mentioned, no one quite seems to talk to me any more. Which makes me feel very lonely. Carmen and Joey are one of my best friends though, but as I said, it's more of just a term I guess.

Raven is the one that I talk to the most for some reason, but her boyfriend is always trying to kill me any second for some reason. Guessing because he doesn't like me to talk to her. Which leaves a partition between us. Well, it's just nature I guess. Nothing much can be done.

Well, life in school is becoming more and more lonely for some reason. I seem to be more and more invisible. Nobody chose to talk to me. When I talk to others, they simply look away, ignore, or just say some words to make me feel like they care, which in fact probably not.

Well, what can I say? Life isn't always at it seems to be I guess. I just have to accept the fact, and live on with it. That pretty much sums up what happened these few months while I was away. There's too, things which I didn't mention, because they're confidential. I, again apologise for that.  Well, that's it for now.

More blog awaits! Stay tuned!

-Jonas

February 12th 2015

Self-made-fictional story. Hope you'll give a comment about it!

Dear XXX,
    I recently lost my loved one named Joan. I lost in in the library, when it accidentally slipped into another boy's palm. I searched it for many weeks, but it was no where to be seen. It's been a rough 2 months, since the day I lost Joan. I think of it everyday, and it has been appearing in my dream, almost every night since. Whenever I wake up and realising that it's not on the table, I cry for it for at least 15 minutes every time.

    It meant a lot to me, and I miss it very much. We had splendid memories together, as it is always beside me. I took it to expensive restaurants a few times before. I even took it to Paris on one of the Valentines Day, and also Canada's finest restaurants on Christmas Eve. Those were nice dates that I'll keep inside me. I always bring it to my favourite, whenever I feel sad and alone.

    Whenever I feel down, it'll always be with me. I talk to it about my issues, whether its between my family or my friends. I hug it sometimes. I feels good. It has always been with me through my tough times, and also happy times. We share our moments together. Whenever I write my diaries, there's always a pert of it in my diary. I can never finish my days of diaries without it.

    I have to talk to it everyday, or else it wouldn't be counted off as a day for me. Although she never really reply me, and keep silent all the time, I still love it, for as it's silence means a thousand words to me. I've heard its voice talking back to me, but it's very rare. People say I'm crazy, but it doesn't stop my love towards my lovely Joan.

    I remember there's this year when I was 25, that I allowed it in someone else's palms. He took it away, and I there's no communication in between me and Joey and the man. I was worried that it'll never come back. It seems that I'll never come back to me again. When it finally appeared in front of my home's door one day, I was shocked. I was so mad at it, that I didn't talk to it for week.s It was a tough period of time, but then everything got back again. I never get to contact that man that took Joan away from me ever again. 

    Joan meant so much to me, and also fills my life with joyfulness and happiness. I miss the feel of it in the palm of my hand, through all the times we had together. I miss the sharpness and fine of words that it can be written out. Now that it's gone, I feel terrible. I hope I find it sooner, and that it'll be back in my palms again.

-Saw

More blog awaits! Stay tuned!

February 11th 2015

I remember how my mother use to tell me that I must finish my homework before I play. Now that I finish everything and my childhood is over.
No more bike riding with friends.
No more Facebook Games.
No more going neighbour's.
No more watching cartoon.
No more playing with toys.
No more running around.
No more going to the park.
No more life.
Just the me with a computer, and nothing I can do with it. This wasn't the future I was expecting when I was young. Didn't expect high school to be like this. I thought it'll be better. What's happening now, wasn't expected as years before.
People online, but AFK
Brother at home, but in sleeping.
Father at home, but locked in.
Mother went overseas.
Friends with freedom, but in another way.
Everything is different. Everyone's busy with their things. This wasn't any-how even close to what I though being a 16 year-old would be. I don't want this. I want a change. This life is terrible.
I am free to do whatever I want now.
I am free to use Facebook 24-7 now.
I am free to go out on my own now.
I am free to do almost anything now.
But it just seems the world is in another point-of-eyes now.

February 9th 2015

As I entered my neighbour's car to go to school today, I noticed something magnificent. He changed his car's audio system. The old system was at least 20 years old. He got a new set of them, and it was amazing. I've been waiting for this day, for it's sort of the only time I listen to music. He also bought new Taylor Swift album, and plays it in the car. My ride to school is so awesome now. I like going to school now, but just the trip to school, not the school itself.

As I reached school, same thing happens every time. There's assembly in the morning, and we'll have our prayers. Something was different today as class started. I have a personal study desk, next to my working desk. It's the biggest they have in school, and I own it. Basically I had a huge study desk, and a 2 seated working desk, at a corner of the classroom. A new student came into our class. Since he has no seat, next to me it is. He is definitely invading my comfortable, huge corner space, and I am certainly unhappy about it. But I guess that's just how life goes. There's no space for him. I hope he'll suck in class, and drop to the lower class so i don't have to sit next to him. Nothing is wrong with him. It's just I don't like a thing next to my place.

Nothing else happened in class. Everything went on usual, until...Lunch. Normally, I would just rest as my desk, or sit in the corner of the hall myself. Today, I decided to sit in the hall, and something spectacular happened. A beautiful looking girl, which is one of my friend named XXX went to the hall too. As I went near her, she suddenly started talking to me, and also started crying. I couldn't believe what was going on. A beautiful girl, suddenly talks to me, and starts crying. In front of me. Goodness, I must be dreaming, but I wasn't.

As she started talking and crying, I felt really bad and sad at the same time. She was crying because she had problems with one of her friends. I felt really sad for her, as there's nothing much I can help, and despite how she always help me when I feel down in the dumps. I also felt bad because, how can you even have a beautiful girl cry in front of you? I mean seriously. There's a beautiful girl, crying and talking to you about her problems, and there's nothing you can do about it. Of course I'll feel bad! XXX and her friend had problems on-and-off for at least 1 year now. I really hope they can sort it out, for everyone hopes to patch a quarrel up.

I also illegally had expired chewing gum in school today, as our school bans from eating chewing gum.

Everything else went smooth as usual today. I hope everything will turn out nicely tomorrow, and also everyday.
More blog awaits! Stay tuned!

December 29th 2014

Continue to my previous story of my stay in Bangkok

It was the only day that no one went shopping. In the mornings, we went to Safari Park, and after that we went to this really nice hotel that also has a restaurant named Chocolate Ville. It's an outdoor restaurant, and they truly had put effort into building every single attraction. From buildings to the river. Buildings are made for attractions, although some can be dined in. They make it like buildings from the old times. The post office is an example. There's also a man-made river, that runs along most of the dining tables. They had ducks in it too. It was just an extra attraction. Nothing fascinating about it. The food was extremely costly. I could easily understand why, just looking at my surroundings.

The food was extremely appetizing and nice. The presentation was also magnificent. It was a very wonderful place. It was near Christmas, and it had so many extra lighting and decorations there. Santa Clause was having dinner there too! It was definitely a memorable place. After our dinner, we went straight back to the hotel, and went to bed. It was the only day, that no shopping was made.

Below are things that we did, but not sure how to fit into my blog.

We had a buffet dinner at the highest building in Thailand. Biokesky. Costed roughly 100 bucks per person. The diner was at one of the highest place of the building, having a panoramic view of Bangkok city. The food was better than usual outside, but not those excellently wonderful type.
It had a wide variety of food to chose from. There was even a clown there to entertain children. Drinks were not complimentary. It had to be bought. They do not serve any local food. Just other cuisines. It was a wonderful dinner.

We had this dinner at this place called Once Upon A Time. Nothing special. just a restaurant. It was different from those shop lots restaurant. It was like home-based kind of thing. Nothing much.

The zoo presented the largest herd of giraffes in the world. 250 of them. First time seeing sea lions, and it was at Safari World. Sea lions are very big. So much bigger than I ever imagined. Like the size of a smaller elephant, but still very very big. The fangs could easily kill any animal in any universe.

SUMMARY:

What I really don't like about Bangkok:

The streets are filled with people.
The main roads are very hard to cross.
The streets have weird smells.
The streets and malls are extremely low class.
The place feels weird to me.
#Don't think it's because of it's low class, because I've been to Vietnam, and I'm very okay with it.
The streets are dirty.
The clothes on streets have like no sense of fashion. (Most of them)

What I really like about Bangkok:

The really nice zoo that makes human in the cage while animals are free
The service they give at almost all business making places.
The hotel I lived in.
The food. (Only some)
The design of clothing of branded clothing.
eg: Nike&Adidas. Better than my country.
The price of candy in 7eleven
Their McDonalds.
#Right Price. Good Quality. Delicious. Attitude of workers.
#So so so so much better than my country's
Any other things that's more expensive than their local average priced products. (Except candies)

CONCLUSION:

Will I ever go to Bangkok again?
Yes, if it's with family, and I have better things to do most of the time.
eg: more tourist attraction things than just street shopping. Bangkok is so big, there should be more interesting things than just Safari World. Right?
No, if I have nothing to do there, like just go walk around.

Is Bangkok a good place?
Yes, if you don't expect too much, and if you're okay with low class things.
No, if you prefer higher class things, like Singapore standard.

Was my trip worth it?
Yes, because of family togetherness. Could have gone somewhere better than Bangkok.

More blog awaits! Stay tuned!

December 29th 2014

It's been a while since I blogged. I apologize for that. I have been lazy lately. I went to Bangkok, Thailand on 15th of December. It was not as good as I expected. I do not want to go again for no reason, unless it changes tremendously. 

We first arrived at the Berkeley Hotel, and it was excellent. To be honest, it was one of the best there, under the affordable prices of normal residents of Malaysia. Everything there was good, from head to toe. Even the lobby's toilets has a big chandelier! The toilet wasn't big, despite how many people go to the lobby toilet at the same time. My brother and I shared the same room, and my parents and my little sister shared one room. The room was just like any other average hotel room. Well at least it's not like those filthy cheap motel, it's good enough for me, and my whole family.

What else to do in Bangkok, besides shopping and eating? So since we have roughly four days, we didn't rush on anything. I went to the malls nearby, and they were all so terrible. I just feel very uncomfortable in all the malls I went. I'm not sure why though, but I will not go any of them any more, except one. The only one that I like is because they sell world-wide branded clothings, and other things. It was named Central Plaza. Other malls sell EVERYTHING LOCAL. As my brother and father didn't like shopping nor window shopping, they didn't like any of the malls.

My brother had no interest in anything, so he just follows anyone that needed follow, like me. My father preferred the night market. Which is basically locals selling local clothes on local streets, at night. Which I have no sort of interest whatsoever. He bought like 2 shirts total. My brother, throughout the four days, bought nothing in Bangkok, except for a pair of shades. I bought one too. It was selling on one of the streets, on a sunny afternoon, when we just walked passed it, on our way back to the Berkeley Hotel, from Central Plaza.

My mother. She went shopping non-stop for four days. I have no idea why. I don't know what else I can say for my mother. That's it. She likes shopping.

I remember this one day, that we went to the local zoo-like thing called Safari World. It was amazing. The first thing to do, is to take a ride, in the bus, through the big piece of land, where lots of wild animals run freely. All of them are plant-eaters, that's why they're allowed to be together. After it was the zoo-like place. As usual, it consisted of animals in cages or their own fenced territory. There's some things I like very much about it is that it was very very clean, and there's no bugs or mosquitoes flying anywhere. Also, toilets are not far away from each other, they have toilets everywhere. There's also signs to show you which animal is located at which location. Super convenient. The food area that sells food there are at very good prices too. Some zoos sell really expensive food.  There were some shows to see there, and they were all very very fascinating.  It was very very well done. It took half a day for us to finish the Safari World. It was one of the best zoo, I've ever been.

That's it for now. There's more of Bangkok that I have not explained. Maybe I'll continue on next time. But I promise there will be more stories besides the Bangkok one in the future.
More blog awaits! Stay tuned!